Oh no: You took her out to dinner a couple times and dropped a couple amusing one-liners. Shit, you called the waiter back and asked for the full bottle of the '08 Mendoza malbec, not the half-bottle. Yikes, she sheepishly said something like, "I don't usually go out with boys like you" or something else similarly down-homey and adorable. And you asked about her parents? Ugh, DUDE.

Ok, you didn't mean for this to happen, and now she has the wrong idea. You have to break this off, and you have to break this off now. But this is Taylor Swift, my friend. There's no "letting her down gently," there's just "breaking up with her and then having millions of people around the world listening to a cutesy, simple four-minute jam with a catchy hook about just how badly you suck as a person."

You got yourself into this, and the demise of your well-crafted public persona of sensitivity awaits. Or does it? Here's a quick list of things you can do for yourself in this situation:

Somehow make a different aspect of her life a littttttle worse.
Not too much worse so as to just be a full-fledged asshole,** but a little bit worse; that way she'll write a song about that, not you. Maybe have beers with her dad (remember, you guys are probably good buddies at this point now) and subtly convince him that 25 years with Mrs. Swift is just about enough (ensuing Taylor Swift song: "Tired Love"). Maybe get her best friend to start rubbing up on Jake Gyllenhaal at bars with cameras around. Maybe take her dog for a walk with a leash that's a little too long. You have to be her second thought for a little while, at least. That way, at worst, the hook of the song will be like, "I miss that dog so much in ways that I don't miss you." or something else Taylor Swift-y.
**This point was rendered moot by the end of the paragraph

Start dating her mom.
"Taylor, the heart wants what the heart wants. I raised you to know that." "You're so right, mom!" Fin. (This is best done after convincing her dad to divorce her mom, per the first option. Actually I guess it doesn't matter that much.)

Start dating Taylor Lautner.
Two new gay pals for her! Yay!

Embrace it, and let her not only write the song, but embellish the shit out of the break-up itself.
Accept the fact that she's going to do it anyway, and so what reason is there to NOT make it the most unforgettable pop song ever written? Mid break-up, say stuff like "Taylor, you're the most emotionally-mature girl I've ever met... but have you SEEN Amy's tits?" or "Taylor you have such a staggering grasp on life, it's astounding... but sometimes I just want to bone strippers." Something so appalling and offensive that it can't not be made into a confused 15 year-old's new life anthem. If you can handle the two-month stretch of US Weekly covers, you may as well rock and roll with immortality. Pick up Sandra Bullock for two weeks and then dump the shit out of her, too. Why not? You're a new man.

Whatever you decide, just remember to do one thing in particular: Get tested. She was with John Mayer a year ago. Let's be serious.