50 Licensed Emo Band Names
Shatterfaced.com has officially purchased the rights to the following fifty emo band names. If any small group of self-loathing, musically-talentless whiners wishes to use one, they'll have to consult with me. $1,000 minimum.
Everyone Except Jennifer
Heaving is Believing
Hello My Name is Chaos
Draining Cats and Dogs
Cheese From Last Night
Wrists of New Mexico
Double the Meatballs
And Then There Was Algernon
Thousand Island Un-Dressing
Macs, PCs, and Thumbtacks
Closing the Sunroof
NONSENSE! Marissa Shouted
`~*DiMeTaP nAtIoN*~`
Sweatpants Teepee
Cookie Crisp in Jail
Field Hockey Firearms
Queen of Maids
Wash Your Hands, Feet, and Sanity
TrIcKz are for KiDz
Obama at the Strip Club
Baseball Power Rankings
Codeine on Speed Dial
Pastrami Sandals
Torn Emcee Elle
Ittay Bittay Tittays
Rated G for Gore
Schedule the Appendectomy
I Don’t Know How That Got There
Listerine and Peanut Butter
Only She Can Know
Serenades, Broken Blades, and Hand Grenades
That’s Ludicrous, Exclaimed Hector
Blaming Portugal for the Seizure
My Pancreas is Soggy
Glam Chowder
Burning Down the Fistfight
A Dime a Cousin
Sesame Seed Nightmares
It’s Funny Because It’s Drew
Petting Bunnies
Donald’s Underrated Blaspheme
Soaking in Cheeseburgers
The Poor Man’s Bill Bellamy
Salmon in My Coffee
Underline This Thought
whydontwejusttramplethem
Unable to Get a Donor
Tommy the Green Ranger
Bicycles Riding Police
Grandpa’s Sexual Innuendo
Everyone Except Jennifer
Heaving is Believing
Hello My Name is Chaos
Draining Cats and Dogs
Cheese From Last Night
Wrists of New Mexico
Double the Meatballs
And Then There Was Algernon
Thousand Island Un-Dressing
Macs, PCs, and Thumbtacks
Closing the Sunroof
NONSENSE! Marissa Shouted
`~*DiMeTaP nAtIoN*~`
Sweatpants Teepee
Cookie Crisp in Jail
Field Hockey Firearms
Queen of Maids
Wash Your Hands, Feet, and Sanity
TrIcKz are for KiDz
Obama at the Strip Club
Baseball Power Rankings
Codeine on Speed Dial
Pastrami Sandals
Torn Emcee Elle
Ittay Bittay Tittays
Rated G for Gore
Schedule the Appendectomy
I Don’t Know How That Got There
Listerine and Peanut Butter
Only She Can Know
Serenades, Broken Blades, and Hand Grenades
That’s Ludicrous, Exclaimed Hector
Blaming Portugal for the Seizure
My Pancreas is Soggy
Glam Chowder
Burning Down the Fistfight
A Dime a Cousin
Sesame Seed Nightmares
It’s Funny Because It’s Drew
Petting Bunnies
Donald’s Underrated Blaspheme
Soaking in Cheeseburgers
The Poor Man’s Bill Bellamy
Salmon in My Coffee
Underline This Thought
whydontwejusttramplethem
Unable to Get a Donor
Tommy the Green Ranger
Bicycles Riding Police
Grandpa’s Sexual Innuendo



forced into monogamy
two fingers in
pheromones forever
golden ratio and the smile
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