Today, I drove down my driveway on my way to get iced coffee, trying to decide between Mary Lou's, the South Shore's fantastic coffee chain, or the Dunkin Donuts on Driftway.

I made the wrong decision.

Me at Drive Thru: Hi, can I have a medium iced toasted almond, skim milk, two splenda please.
Dunkin Donuts Employee: Ok, iced blueberry, one splenda. What size?
Me (confused): No. A medium iced toasted almond, skim milk, two splenda.
Dunkin Donuts Employee: Medium iced toasted almond, skim milk, two splenda. Drive up.

They then handed me - no joke - a medium with cream and sugar. I point this out to the Dunkin Donuts employee.

Me: Are you sure this is mine? This definitely has cream in it. It's almost white.
Dunkin Donuts employee: Yeah! That's blueberry! And I think I put in milk.

So I wrote five haikus about my feelings on the matter.



                                             Dunkin's on Driftway
                                    The short bus of coffee shops
                                            Corky Thatcher laughs
                                   

                                             Dunkin's on Driftway
                                   Fills me with murderous thoughts
                                               Instead of coffee

                                  
                                             Dunkin's on Driftway
                                     Employees just like Hawking
                                                Except retarded


                                             Dunkin's on Driftway
                                            Mary Lou's is L.A.P.D.
                                            You are Rodney King


                                             Dunkin's on Driftway
                                         Sullying a great franchise
                                              Nuclear holocaust