NOTE: This is another one that was written in July and denied by the now-defunct culturenow website.


Finally, a rebuttal from the unwittingly famous - the girl Katy Perry kissed and liked it:

"An open letter to Katy Perry:

You're right - you wouldn't know me by name, and if I passed you on the street, you would probably keep walking - yet you allude to my soft lips in a recorded message 40,000 times a day across the world. You guessed it, I'm the girl you "kissed and liked it," and I'm getting extremely tired of hearing my grandmother sing your side of the story to my face every time I visit her nursing home, so I'm gonna relay my version of the evening's events now. First off, let's not make it seem like you wouldn't have touched any females without alcohol in you. Let's be serious: you walked in that night looking to make out with some chicks. You still would have "liked it" if I had just downed three loaves of garlic bread and was sporting a ferocious case of herpes, so don't tell me you "lost your discretion" when you randomly stuck your tongue in my mouth. That wasn't my "cherry chapstick," that was the Shirley Temple I was drinking with my two kids, who now think my husband and I are getting divorced. Joey hasn't left his room for four days. Oh, and way to announce that what you did "isn't what good girls do." Is that right? Do good girls let people have quiet dinners with their children? Nice subtlety there, Katy. Why don't you tell everyone about the Harley you bought, or the multiple pit bulls you own? You're so rebellious. I eagerly await your next single, 'I tried sushi and it actually wasn't as bad as everybody makes it out to be.'"